Sunday, August 12, 2012

Sunday 8-12

It has been a nice day here today.  I had 3 lessons for the day.  I had Rick, Emily, and Minh's lessons.  Emily has chosen her Summer Recital piece now.  She is going to play "Prelude" from her level 2 lesson book.  It is a cute piece that she does rather well.  Minh and Rick chose their pieces a bit ago.  It is so hard to believe that the concert is only 6 days away.  Wow, I am so unprepared right now.  I will be prepared by the time the concert comes around though, that is for sure.  Tomorrow I am going to price hamburger and buns for the BBQ.  I also am going to be asking students' parents who is planning to stay for the BBQ.  That will be important since I have no idea who is coming and staying.  I have an idea of which students are performing but not an idea of how many are staying.  So far, I know of 1 family who will not be staying because they are fasting during the day right now for Ramadan.

Anne of Green Gables is on TV tonight along with the Harry Potter number 6.  I do have both on DVD but I am watching Anne.  I remember the first time I read the Anne of Green Gable book.  It was like a magical book.  She talked as much as I did and it was just wonderful.  I remember crying at the end because it was the end.  Then Mom told me that there were 7 more books in the series.  We went to the library and got the all the next day.  I think that lasted me about a week or so.  I read very fast so I go through books very quickly.  I wish I didn't, but I do.  I simply love the Anne books.  I even have 2 Anne dolls and a Diana doll.  I have several figurines and one music box of Anne.  I got some at Disney World in Epcot in the Canadian Pavilion.  Mom and I loved them so much.  I also have a plush doll of Anne.  It is very cute.  Mom had one too.  I have it to Calli since she loves Anne too.  I gave Acer the plane Mom had.  He liked it a lot.

I am not sure what day it was, but one day this week I woke up early, about 7 am.  I was fine for a few minutes and then all of a sudden I was crying and missing Mom so much.  It was just like it was when she first passed away.  I think I cried for about 15 or so minutes and then fell back asleep.  I was fine when I finally got up for the day.  It was just very strange.  I mean, I miss her a lot all the time, but I don't have the crushing feeling in my chest anymore.  Yet, on that day, I did.  It hurt physically to miss her that day.  That hasn't happened in a while.  I think I am used to her being gone now.  I (most of the time) no longer think, oh, time to get Momma up or time to put Momma to bed.  I still have the sign on her room though.  I haven't been able to take it off yet.  Someday, but I still refer to that room as hers.  To me, it is still her bedroom.

Well, it is getting a bit late and I want to read a bit before bed tonight, mainly to calm my anxiety.  Thank goodness I have medicine now for the anxiety.  I had to go back on the Effexor because my anxiety was getting so high again.  I probably should have had it right after Mom passed away, but I was trying not to need it.  Well, I need it.  I also have my relaxation techniques that I do to help calm down.  I don't need to give myself an anxiety attack or an asthma attack as when I get an anxiety attack, I often end up with an asthma attack too.  I have stress related asthma so that is why it sometimes happens.  Silly asthma!

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