Tomorrow is the official holiday but we had the dinner today at my cousin, Luana's house. I brought cheese and crackers. It was good. The dinner was really good and there was plenty enough for everyone around. Everyone was in a good mood so that was wonderful. Little Warren, 6, came up to me for a big hug. Then later he wanted a snuggle after dinner so we did. He is such a beautiful child. He sister, Phoenix is 2 and she can be mean at times. Right before dinner she slapped Warren really hard for no reason, just walked up and slapped him. Phoenix did get in trouble but she is very physical with all kids her age. i do hope she out grows it or when she is older she will have no friends and spend a lot of time in trouble at school. It was so lovely to finally meet my cousin, Darrin's youngest daughter, Kestral. He hadn't seen her in 5 1/2 years and she is only 6. Both her and her mother were at the dinner and I was so happy to see them. I took a couple of pictures of them because I don't have any of Kestral. Darrin is very happy to have time to see that beautiful girl again. I am so glad it is working out for him. Little girls need their daddies too. Danielle didn't come, which was expected. I tried to see her before and after but she wasn't home. I gave the gift for her daughter to her dad and stepmom so Lizzie will get the present I bought her. I gave Esther hers and she seemed to like them. I bought her 2 books and a really cool card. It was the disney fairies and it had stickers inside. Lizzie's is the disney princesses and it also has stickers inside.
Overall, I am very happy it was a good day. I missed my mom and I know Maia was missed. It is the first holiday that we have had without Maia. It is hard to have them without them, but they are in Heaven and much as we would like to, we can't bring them back here with us. It is still rather strange for me to go to family things without Momma. It really is. You would think after almost 3 years it wouldn't be, but it so is. 3 years ago at this time, the little lady was in the hospice unit at the hospital. I was sitting there with her, holding her hand, talking to her, trying to hug her, and giving her lots of kisses. It is hard to hug someone who is lying down and can't hug back. She was so small. At that point she only weight 84.6 pounds and she was about 5'2" tall. She had shrunk some with the widows lump on her back. I remember feeling so lonely at that time even though Maia and Tilley were both at my house with me. I was just so alone without Momma. I still am a lot of the time. I am not lonely in general, I am lonely for my mother. I think of her everyday. I miss her everyday. Friday will be the 3 year anniversary. I plan to get flowers for her and put them in the vase on the table in her honor. I just miss her so much all the time. Sometimes the pain is worse than the fibro and sometimes it is just a hole in my heart. I will say, I am much better than I was, although I do miss her a lot, I am just not so down about it. I know she would be kicking my behind saying what is up with this Missy???? You need to get up and at em. That is what she would say so I do. I think it is okay to miss her so much and still have good days. yes, my days would be better if she were around like she was before she got sick, but she isn't sick anymore and besides, God Himself decided to bring her home. Who am I to judge or question His decision? I am only His child. He is the Father with the plan. I know that someday we will be together again and never will I be apart from my mom but that day is off into the future. Only God knows when that will be, not me. After all, He is the One in charge of my life. I gave my life to Him when I was a child and I haven't looked back since. Momma brought me up to be God's child and I am. She would say I am God's child first and her child second. That was just mom.
Well, I have to print some music for Sarah for tomorrow so I better get going on that. My hip is protesting sitting here right now so I better get it some relief. I have some words with friends games to play and I have a book to read. I just finished clockwise angel. Now I am on clockwise prince.
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