Sunday, October 20, 2013

Sunday 10-20

I had a make up lesson today with Ryan.  It was my only lesson for the day.  Tomorrow is back to normal schedule with a possible make up with Natalie for Thursday.  I am not sure though as her mom will call tomorrow if Natalie can come.  I hope so.  Then the only lesson I wasn't able to make up would be Isaac's.  It is a bummer, but okay.  I am glad I could make up as many as I did.

I finally finished putting in Finale Acer's Holly Jolly Christmas so he can practice.  He helped me with some and then was timing how long it took to put the notes in the document.  It was pretty funny.  I had done a full page but for some reason it got lost.  I don't know what happened to it but it is done now and that is the important part.  Acer now has his practice CD for his Christmas song.  He is at a birthday party right now for a friend at school.  I am so glad he has lots of friends at school.  The rest of us are at home while he and Heather BT is out.  Calli and I are in the living room.  She is reading and I am on the computer.

I am feeling better now than I was.  My neck isn't sore at this moment and I slept really well (for me) last night.  I only woke up at about 3:30 for about an hour before I fell back asleep.  I did also take a nap for about 4 hours yesterday afternoon.  I meant to sleep for about an hour or two not 4 but I was so tired of not sleeping for 2 days.  I guess I needed the sleep.  I went to bed at regular time last night and woke up at regular time this morning.  Tomorrow I don't have my homeschoolers so I don't have to be up early, thankfully.  I can sleep in to my regular time.

I am so excited to be wearing clothes that I haven't worn in 6 years because they were too tight.  I have on one of my absolutely most favorite outfits.  It is really cute too.  I am looking forward to wearing my really cute jeans with their matching hoodies too.  I am still working on losing more weight, as it is needed, but I have a good start and I am happy about that.

I will be seeing the neurologist this week to follow up with the hospital visit.  I really like my neurologist a lot.  I think the medicine she has me on has helped a lot.  I don't get the super bad headaches during the day at this point, just at night, which, believe it or not, IS an improvement.  Now she is working on the bad ones at the night.  I may have to have nerve blocker injections in my neck this week if my neck continues to plague me.  Right now, it isn't too bad.  I don't know if the injections hurt or not but it is something that we have to discuss.  I am not sure why I have to see Doctor G too the following week about the hospital visit so I probably won't go and see him just Doctor R.  I do need to call Dr. J about the cellulitis as it still is there a bit, I believe.  It hurts a bit and there is still some bleeding so that is not good.  I must have this completely cleared up because it can lead to blood poisoning and well, that is not something I really want to have to deal with.  I am hoping I am finished with this bout of crazy illnesses right now.  It is just insane.  I do get tired of it.  I know with me it is always a matter of when I get sick again, not if I get sick again.  That drives me crazy but there isn't anything I can do about it.

This week's teaching schedule seems to be back to normal, thankfully.  I have about 220 more dollars to save for my hearing aids and then back to saving for the house bill.  The August payment has really thrown us for a loop with how much it jumped to.  It has been insane trying to pay it off.  I am doing the best I can but we are behind a couple of months now and this has not happened in years.  Not too mention that I have to turn in my car in March because it is a lease.  I am hoping to buy this one as I love the little car.  I don't have a lot of miles on it so that is good.

I am involved in a care package exchange on one of my fibro facebook pages and I received my package.  It was awesome.  I will be mailing my package to Connie tomorrow.  I meant to do it Thursday but it didn't happen because of the hospital.  Now I can go and do it.  I also forgot to mail a bill.  I have them taken care of now.  I hope she likes what I got her.  She is very into crafting her own cards so I bought some card stuff for her.  It was fun picking out what to get her.  It really was.  She sent me some super neat stuff too.  I love the cross stitch kit she got me.  I love cross stitching.  I was working on one but it disappeared with the rest of my craft items after mom died.  I was heart broken because it was for my mother.

Friday was the 3 year anniversary of her death.  Because of my adventure at the hospital, I didn't even think about it so I wasn't sad at all.  I am not sad now but I was earlier in the month.  I had one night where I broke down and cried really hard.  I am feeling better now.  I will always miss her that is for sure.  I don't think there is a day that goes by that I don't miss her.  I think of the beautiful sky she loved so much, I think of things I am doing, and stuff like that.  I wish she were still here.  I am not saying I would want her to suffer as she was at the end with Alzheimer's, but how she was before Alzheimer's.  That is the mom I want back.  I do miss the mom she became because she was so sweet and adorable, but I also miss the mom I had always known.  The strong lady, the major, the loving mom that she was.  I wonder if she sees me and is happy with how I am doing.  These are the things I think about a lot.  I think she would be happy with how things are with the house.  Even if she was still here, it would have worked out because she would be in the living room and everyone else would be in their rooms.  Her hospital bed didn't fit anywhere else and she really couldn't do the stairs anymore.  I had things planned as best as I could but while I miss her so much, I am glad she didn't suffer too much more.  I am glad she never lost her smile or forgot who I was.  That would be so sad.  A couple of times she did forget who I was but it never lasted very long.  The first time I handled it so badly.  I cried and told her I was her daughter, which made her feel bad about forgetting.  The next time I did better, I just told her my name and in a few minutes she knew who I was.  I miss holding and snuggling with her.  I would sit next to her and snuggle her in my arms.  She was so tiny at that point.  Mom was never very tall but she was taller than me.  Her shoulders had rounded out so she shrunk a bit.  That was why I could hold her and snuggle her.  I miss telling her how much I love her.  I miss asking where is the pretty momma smile too.  I just miss her a lot.

I am going to read for a bit and play my words with friends right now.

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